So I finally got my talk done, even though I turned procrastination into an Olympic sport, I did what I needed to do, and actually on the day it was fine – didn’t talk about everything I was going to but then also added things which I wasn’t going to cover. So all in all better than I thought although I whittled on for far too long (which I always end up doing)… but I do think that’s the nature of a ‘dis-organised’ religion, we’re not in a hurry to explain anything or go anywhere. To be fair, Tolkien wasn’t far off the mark when Gandalf said “‘A wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.’ Things get done, just when they need to be done – so let it happen naturally.
So I’m perched in Wetherspoons, drinking coffee and stealing their wi-fi (other establishments are available to thieve from) and I realise that sometimes I get a little caught up in the routine of my world. My commute, my work, the weekend and I forget that we all need things that challenge us. We need the storms and the challenges to allow us to grow and thrive. Perhaps life is like an immune system and the more hits we take, the stronger we become.
So ok, it was only an hours talk at the local college, and its not a huge thing but it was outside of my comfort-zone. I took such a leap of faith when I came to Wales for the first time, new job, new home and technically new country. With no friends or family close by I felt very isolated and lost that vitality that allowed me to speak with confidence.
The times have changed, I have a different job now, my work family are amazing and I have formed strong bonds with new friends who make my life one that is full of smiles.
So today was the first time in a very long time that I have put myself out there, that I allowed my voice to be heard and that I felt confident that actually, perhaps I am worth listening to and what I have to say matters.